Bleeding Out
by xMissWhitneyBexx
Summary: Major spoilers! Sync with 29/04/17 episode, Reap the Whirlwind-Part 2. Ethan's in despair and Lily's torn apart, trying to set things right for Cal. These two best friends try and repair each other along the way.
1. He Loved You - Old Version

**I can't even process this recent episode. Here's a story for you guys x**

* * *

She drags herself out of her bed and takes a shaky step towards the door.

"Chuckles? What are you doing out of bed?" Iain asked, rushing to Lily's side as he opened the door.

"I... I have to see him."

Iain's face fell when he saw the tears in her eyes. Hesitating, he answered, "He's at work. He's not doing well, Lils."

Lily let the tears fall as she pushed Iain off her and continued on her slow journey downstairs. "He was there for me when my dad died, I was there for him when he found out about the Huntington's and his birth mother. I _will_ be there now as well. He's..."

"He was worried about you, you know? He would have come up to see you but-"

"I-I know..." Lily whispered. "I-I can't... Iain, can you take me to him, please?"

Iain hesitated again. His eyes wandered over to the wheelchair in the corner of the room and the despair on Lily's face. If he wasn't the first thing on her mind right now, he would do anything to appease her, however, selfish that was.

"Come on then, Chuckles."

Lily smiled but it was short-lived when she sat in the wheelchair and waited for Iain to compose himself. What would you say to someone who has just lost their whole world?

"We have to make a quick stop, though."

The paramedic nodded. "Tell me where to push you."

...

Ethan stood staring at the flowers, cards, and teddies left where Cal was found stabbed, in the rain, alone.

"E-Ethan?"

Ethan turned, albeit slowly, to face Lily tucking her hair behind her ear with a bouquet of flowers in her hands.

She had managed to get Iain to wait with the wheelchair in the ambulance bay, where she promised to meet him after since she figured Ethan would be at Cal's shrine.

"I... I don't know what to-"

She was cut off with a tight hug and she felt him shake, her arms immediately tightening around his torso.

"I'm here..." She whispered, allowing the tears to fall on her own cheeks.

"I wanted to see you but I-"

Lily pulled away. "Ethan... It's not all about me. You just-" She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "You've just lost your brother. I'm not important, you are right now and I'm here."

"He warned me. He died because of me."

Lily shook her head, looking around her. "No, that's not true. If he died because of you then it meant he loved you so much. Ethan, he'd die for you."

"He just did!" Ethan exclaimed, backing away. "Lily, he _just_ died for me right now. He warned me and I ignored him. He-he..."

Ethan stood still, his mind slowing down to process what he had just said.

"I want to get out of here. Will you come with me?" Lily suddenly said.

"But you're not discharged yet."

Lily shrugged. "You need me right now. And to be honest, I need you right now too."

She held her hand out and gave him an encouraging smile.

Ethan looked down at it and took it, looking back up at her. She nodded and placed the flowers by Cal's smiling picture and led Ethan away from the hospital.


	2. She Knows More - Old Version

Ethan turned to face Lily who was fast asleep on his shoulder. They had ended up at the beach, deciding to walk after Lily had a little panic attack at the thought of a moving vehicle.

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, Ethan found texts and missed calls from Charlie, Connie, Alicia and surprisingly, Iain. He also found a voicemail message. Pressing the button, he decided to listen to the message.

His breath hitched when he found it to be from Cal and his brother's last words to him filled his ear. When the messaged stopped playing, Ethan cried out, waking Lily in the process.

"Ethan? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I know who killed Cal..." Ethan whispered, Lily immediately taking the phone from his hand and listening to the message. "It _was_ my fault."

Lily shook her head. "No, Ethan but we will take this to the police and put that bastard where he belongs. Rotting away in jail. Look at me," Ethan slowly turned to face her, tears pooling in his eyes. He looked even more broken without the glasses he misplaced. "Cal's murderer will be brought to justice. I'll do everything I can to make sure of that; I'll even hunt him down myself. Cal saved my life and the least I can do is bring his murderer to justice."

"Lily..."

"Yeah?" She shakily replied, tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't want to live."

And Lily's heart broke.

...

Lily didn't know how they got here. After Ethan's heartbroken reply, he had gotten up and walked away, leaving her to limp and hold her hip after him.

They sat side by side on top of the cliff and Lily studied her best friend closely.

"I owe it all to Cal..." She started to say. "Connie told me I flatlined and he saved me. I never had the chance to thank him. Even though we had our differences, we still respected each other and we were friends. Until Sam put a wedge in that. I wish I could salvage our relationship."

Ethan turned to face her. "I never got to tell him I loved him. I had to say it to his corpse." He told her numbly. "He was all I had left."

"If you want to be with him then why don't you jump already?"

Ethan glared at her. "I don't want to kill myself!"

"You told me earlier that you didn't want to live."

"Oh." He replied numbly.

"Ethan, Cal wouldn't want you to say such dark things like that. You're my best friend, how do you think I felt when you said that?"

He was starting to wish that he had his glasses to get rid of an impending headache right now. "You don't understand what I'm feeling."

"I don't, but Ethan, this is about you. I'm here to help you and to be there for you."

"You're just doing this because you owe it to Cal."

Lily smiled sadly. "And because I love you. You are my best friend and no matter what, we've always been there for each other. I'm not letting you go through this alone. It's not just for Cal but I owe it to you for all the times we've argued or fell out with each other. I would like to think that we will be best friends til the day we die because you were my first friend and the only one who understood me. Cal also helped me become more confident after the whole bet thing and in a way, he made me a better doctor and I have the courage to say 'no' to Sam now. When I go back to work, I'll take over Cal's role in the battle against Sam. Sam used me and destroyed my relationship with Cal, I won't let that happen to us."

The blonde sighed and watched a bird fly over the sea in the distance. The sun was setting and he realised that Lily had soon begun drifting off to sleep again.

"Lils? Wake up, we've got to get you back to Holby."

"I don't want to. I hate being so useless. Please, take me home?" She moaned, shaking her head.

He couldn't deny that being made a patient was horrible. Both of them had been put in the position many times - the minibus crash and Lily's moped accident with that girl. And if he was honest, going back to the place where his brother was killed and murdered was a bit too much. What was he thinking? Going back to work where his brother drew his last breath? But going home was worse. It was quiet without Cal shouting his head off at the TV whenever the Spurs missed a goal or the other team got an 'unfair' penalty. It was weird not hearing Cal sing horribly in the shower before they left for their shifts and after when they got home. It was unnerving not seeing dirty dishes piled by the sink, forcing Ethan to complain twice every time before doing them anyway. It was strange not seeing Cal passed out on the couch after another one-night stand or being drunk from hanging out with Max and Jez. When Ethan had saw Cal's still body in Resus, he had hoped - had wished that he was just asleep and was going to wake up to complain about one thing or another.

 _"Take her back to the hospital, Nibbles. She's not better, yet. I would know - I was her doctor."_

Ethan jumped, not waking Lily, and slowly turned to his side to see Cal sitting beside him, his elbows rested lazily on his knees. _Am I going crazy? I'm definitely seeing and hearing things right now,_ he thought.

"She hates it there. Especially now." He replied, despite not quite believing his conscience.

" _I know but she would hate it more if she was in a lot of pain. I know you're both hurting but she can't be out and about now. She's vulnerable."_

Ethan looked down at his best friend who seemed to be struggling to sleep, mumbling to herself.

"I hate it there too. Without you there." Ethan said softly, to not wake her up.

Cal sighed. " _I know, bro. I would hate it too if I wasn't there."_

The blonde let out a small smile. "I want you back, Caleb."

 _"I know you do but I'm with mum and Matilda. They both love you so much too."_

"That's not helping." Ethan joked a little. "Makes me want to join you even more."

Cal hesitated. Although they'd be reunited, he couldn't do that to his brother.

 _"Don't say that, Nibbles. Alicia needs you. Lily needs you. They are here for you and you are here for them. Just... live your life to the fullest. And please, be more Ethan."_

"Because being more Cal will get me killed?" Ethan asked.

Cal nodded with a small smile. _"I'm sorry I left you. I didn't... I didn't want to leave you but you know I'd kill for you."_

"And apparently, be killed for me..." Ethan mumbled bitterly.

 _"That's what big brothers do. I've always looked up to you, Ethan. I admired you. You are a better person than I was and I would always sacrifice anything if it meant you lived or you were happy and safe. Please, be happy with Alicia. Don't push her away. Not now."_

Ethan had barely even given thought to his new girlfriend. A little bit of him blamed her for denying him final moments before Cal died. He blamed her because their last words weren't 'I love you' or something sappy along those lines that were only understood between the two brothers.

 _"Tell Lily not to blame herself."_

"What do you mean?" Ethan asked as confusion started to creep on his features as he looked down at the sleeping brunette.

 _"I visited her room last night after Connie told her what happened. She said that if she hadn't run off and got hit by a car, she wouldn't have distracted you treating Roy leading to his death. I think she knows a lot more than she's letting on..."_

"You think she witnessed your attack?"

Cal sighed, shrugging. _"I honestly don't know."_ He stood up. _"Look, get her back to Holby. I'm here in your mind if you want or need me."_

When Ethan turned back to Lily, she was awake, watching the sun set and Cal had disappeared.

"Lily... Do you blame yourself for Cal's death? For me not giving my patient enough care?"

Lily slowly nodded. "I... I was sick of resting so I went downstairs to the ED. I managed to get by undetected and I went to the garden but it was raining. I saw Scott and Cal fighting and I went closer despite the rain. I heard everything and I tried to go and stop it... but the door slammed shut in front of me. I tried to open it again but I was too late. I saw Dylan and went back upstairs like nothing had happened. I hoped and prayed that Cal would be okay. He saved my life and I wanted to save his. I failed you both." She cried.

"Let's go to your place. We need to talk."


	3. He Loved You - Chapter 1

**I'm not liking this story. I'm not happy with it so I'm going to start again. I won't delete the previous chapter but from this point forward, things are going to be different with most bits taken from what was written already. Hope you enjoy this refurbished edition! x Bex x**

* * *

She drags herself out of her bed and takes a shaky step towards the door.

"Chuckles? What are you doing out of bed?" Iain asked, rushing to Lily's side as he opened the door.

"I... I have to see him."

Iain's face fell when he saw the tears in her eyes. Hesitating, he answered, "He's at work. He's not doing well, Lils."

Lily let the tears fall as she pushed Iain off her and continued on her slow journey downstairs. "He was there for me when my dad died, I was there for him when he found out about the Huntington's and his birth mother. I _will_ be there now as well. He's..."

"He was worried about you, you know? He would have come up to see you but-"

"I-I know..." Lily whispered. "I-I can't... Iain, can you take me to him, please?"

Iain hesitated again. His eyes wandered over to the wheelchair in the corner of the room and the despair on Lily's face. If he wasn't the first thing on her mind right now, he would do anything to appease her, however, selfish that was.

"Come on then, Chuckles."

Lily smiled but it was short-lived when she sat in the wheelchair and waited for Iain to compose himself. What would you say to someone who has just lost their whole world?

"We have to make a quick stop, though."

The paramedic nodded. "Tell me where to push you."

...

Ethan stood staring at the flowers, cards, and teddies left where Cal was found stabbed, in the rain, alone.

"E-Ethan?"

Ethan turned, albeit slowly, to face Lily tucking her hair behind her ear with a bouquet of flowers in her hands.

She had managed to get Iain to wait with the wheelchair in the ambulance bay, where she promised to meet him after since she figured Ethan would be at Cal's shrine.

"I... I don't know what to-"

She was cut off with a tight hug and she felt him shake, her arms immediately tightening around his torso.

"I'm here..." She whispered, allowing the tears to fall on her own cheeks.

"I wanted to see you but I-"

Lily pulled away. "Ethan... It's not all about me. You just-" She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "You've just lost your brother. I'm not important, you are right now and I'm here."

"He warned me. He died because of me."

Lily shook her head, looking around her. "No, that's not true. If he died because of you then it meant he loved you so much. Ethan, he'd die for you."

"He just did!" Ethan exclaimed, backing away. "Lily, he _just_ died for me right now. He warned me and I ignored him. He-he..."

Ethan stood still, his mind slowing down to process what he had just said.

"I want to get out of here. Will you come with me?" Lily suddenly said.

"But you're not discharged yet."

Lily shrugged. "You need me right now. And to be honest, I need you right now too."

She held her hand out and gave him an encouraging smile.

Ethan looked down at it and took it, looking back up at her. She nodded and placed the flowers by Cal's smiling picture and led Ethan away from the hospital.


	4. We're Not Guilty - Chapter 2

Ethan turned to face Lily who was fast asleep on his shoulder. They had ended up at the beach, deciding to walk after Lily had a little panic attack at the thought of a moving vehicle.

Slipping his phone out of his pocket, Ethan found texts and missed calls from Charlie, Connie, Alicia and surprisingly, Iain. He also found a voicemail message. Pressing the button, he decided to listen to the message.

His breath hitched when he found it to be from Cal and his brother's last words to him filled his ear. When the messaged stopped playing, Ethan cried out, waking Lily in the process.

"Ethan? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I know who killed Cal..." Ethan whispered, Lily immediately taking the phone from his hand and listening to the message. "It _was_ my fault."

Lily shook her head. "No, Ethan but we will take this to the police and put that bastard where he belongs. Rotting away in jail. Look at me," Ethan slowly turned to face her, tears pooling in his eyes. He looked even more broken without the glasses he misplaced. "Cal's murderer will be brought to justice. I'll do everything I can to make sure of that; I'll even hunt him down myself. Cal saved my life and the least I can do is bring his murderer to justice and let you have peace with yourself."

"Lily..."

"Yeah?" She shakily replied, tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't want to live."

And Lily's heart broke.

...

Lily didn't know how they got here. After Ethan's heartbroken reply, he had gotten up and walked away, leaving her to limp and hold her hip after him.

They sat side by side on top of the cliff and Lily studied her best friend closely.

"I owe it all to Cal..." She started to say. "Connie told me I flatlined and he saved me. I never had the chance to thank him. Even though we had our differences, we still respected each other and we were friends. Until Sam put a wedge in that. I wish I could salvage our relationship."

Ethan turned to face her. "I never got to tell him I loved him. I had to say it to his corpse." He told her numbly. "He was all I had left, Lily..."

"If you want to be with him then why don't you jump already?" Lily winced at the bitterness laced in her voice and immediately regretted it.

Ethan glared at her. "I don't want to kill myself!"

"You told me earlier that you didn't want to live." She goaded.

"Oh." He replied numbly.

"Ethan," she sighed, bringing him to her shoulder for a hug. "Cal wouldn't want you to say such dark things like that. You're my best friend, how do you think I felt when you said that?"

He was starting to wish that he had his glasses to get rid of an impending headache right now. "You don't understand what I'm feeling."

"I don't, but Ethan, this is about you and I'm here to help you, to be there for you."

"You're just doing this because you owe it to Cal." Ethan replied, shaking his head.

Lily smiled sadly. "And because I love you. You are my best friend and no matter what, we've always been there for each other. I'm not letting you go through this alone. It's not just for Cal but I owe it to you for all the times we've argued or fell out with each other. I would like to think that we will be best friends until the day we die because you were my first ever friend and the only one who understood me and was there for me. Cal also in a way helped me become a better doctor. In honour of him, when I go back to work, I'll take over Cal's role in the battle against Sam and his stupid plans. Sam used me and destroyed my relationship with Cal, I won't let that happen to us."

The blonde sighed and watched a bird fly over the sea in the distance. The sun was setting and he realised that Lily had soon begun drifting off to sleep again.

"Lils? Wake up, we've got to get you back to Holby." He nudged her lightly, wiping her head from her face.

"I don't want to. I hate being so useless. Please, take me home?" She moaned, shaking her head.

He couldn't deny that being made a patient was horrible. Both of them had been put in the position many times - the minibus crash and Lily's moped accident with that girl. And if he was honest, going back to the place where his brother was killed and murdered was a bit too much. What was he thinking? Going back to work where his brother drew his last breath? But going home was worse. It was quiet without Cal shouting his head off at the TV whenever the Spurs missed a goal or the other team got an 'unfair' penalty. It was weird not hearing Cal sing horribly in the shower before they left for their shifts and after when they got home. It was unnerving not seeing dirty dishes piled by the sink, forcing Ethan to complain twice every time before doing them anyway. It was strange not seeing Cal passed out on the couch after another one-night stand or being drunk from hanging out with Max and Jez. When Ethan had saw Cal's still body in Resus, he had hoped - had wished that he was just asleep and was going to wake up to complain about one thing or another. Even having a terrible hangover would do but all that blood... it was very evident.

 _"Take her back to the hospital, Nibbles. She's not better, yet. I would know - I was her doctor."_

Ethan jumped, not waking Lily, and slowly turned to his side to see Cal sitting beside him, his elbows rested lazily on his knees. _Am I going crazy? I'm definitely seeing and hearing things right now,_ he thought.

"She hates it there. Especially now." He replied, despite not quite believing his conscience.

" _I know but I bet that she would hate it more if she was in a lot of pain. I know you're both hurting but she can't be out and about now. She's vulnerable."_

Ethan looked down at his best friend who seemed to be struggling to sleep, mumbling to herself.

"I hate it there too. Without you there." Ethan said softly, to not wake her up.

Cal sighed. " _I know, bro. I would hate it too if I wasn't there."_ He replied with a smirk.

The blonde let out a small smile. "I want you back, Caleb."

 _"I know you do but I'm with mum and Matilda. They both love you so much too."_

"That's not helping." Ethan joked a little. "Makes me want to join you even more."

Cal hesitated. Although they'd be reunited, he couldn't do that to his brother.

 _"Don't say that, Nibbles. Alicia needs you. Lily needs you. They are here for you and you are here for them. Just... live your life to the fullest. And please, be more Ethan."_

"Because being more Cal will get me killed?" Ethan asked, bitterness lace into his words.

Cal nodded with a small smile. _"I'm sorry I left you, Little Bro. I didn't... I didn't want to leave you but you know I'd kill for you."_

"And apparently, be killed for me..." Ethan mumbled bitterly.

 _"That's what big brothers do. I've always looked up to you, Ethan. I admired you. You are a better person than I was and I would always sacrifice anything if it meant you lived or you were happy and safe. Please, be happy with Alicia. Don't push her away. Not now."_

Ethan had barely even given thought to his new girlfriend. A little bit of him blamed her for denying him final moments before Cal died. He blamed her because their last words to each other weren't 'I love you' or something sappy along those lines that were only understood between the two brothers.

 _"Tell Lily not to blame herself."_

"What do you mean?" Ethan asked as confusion started to creep on his features as he looked down at the sleeping brunette.

 _"I visited her room last night after Connie told her what happened. She said that if she hadn't run off and got hit by a car, she wouldn't have distracted you treating Roy leading to his death. Then the whole thing with Scott wanting revenge..."_ Cal sighed and stood up. _"Look, get her back to Holby. I'm here in your mind if you want or need me."_

When Ethan turned back to Lily, she was awake totally oblivious and watching the sun set. When he had turned back to his other side, Cal had disappeared.

"Lily... Do you blame yourself for me not giving my patient enough care?"

Lily slowly nodded. "I... If I hadn't got run over, maybe you wouldn't have been put in a position where you had to worry about me as well as your critically ill patient. Maybe then you wouldn't have been targeted and Cal wouldn't have got stabbed for you..." The tears became uncontrollable as she bowed her head. "I have somehow failed you both." She whispered.

"Let's go to your place. It's getting late." Ethan sighed.


	5. There's Worry Coming - Chapter 3

When Lily awoke, she found herself back in her hospital bed. Curiously, she turned to her side to find Ethan with his hands covering his face, shaking.

"Ethan? Wh-what happened?" Lily asked, annoyed that her voice suddenly sounded hoarse.

Ethan looked up, worry in his eyes. "You passed out. You don't remember?"

Lily shook her head. "I apologise for worrying you."

"I-I called Iain, if that's alright? He says he's on his way."

She blinked slowly. "That's fine. You need to go home. Call Alicia."

"I can't..." Ethan whispered, torn. "I can't go home."

Lily was about to reply but a call from Charlie disturbed them. "Answer it," she settled for instead.

Ethan sighed, answering the call and leaning back in the chair. As the conversation grew, Lily noticed Ethan becoming more paler than the minute. When he finally cancelled the call, she gently rubbed his shoulder.

"What did Charlie say?"

"Because I wasn't ready yet, Charlie gave the police his number in case anything happened. They called to see if I wanted to bring Cal's personal effects home." Ethan whispered.

"I'm sorry I can't go with you. I'm sure Charlie and Alicia would like to go with you."

Ethan looked up at her. "Will you be alright? Should I wait until Iain's here for you?"

Lily gave him a solemn smile. "I'm a big girl. I can look after myself." She rolled her eyes at Ethan's glances around the room. "Fine, most of the time. You need to give the police your phone so that they can get Scott Ellison. This is the perfect time to help bring Cal's murderer to justice."

Ethan stood up, giving Lily a careful hug before leaving her room. His heart became heavier as he took each step towards Charlie's waiting car outside the ED. When he got in, he also met Duffy who gave him a consoling smile.

"How's Lily doing, you must have been so worried?" She asked as Charlie drove away.

Ethan knew that she was indirectly asking how he was doing and although he appreciated it, it didn't help the fact that he would never see the baby blues of his brother's eyes nor will he ever hear the charisma which was laced with every word Caleb Knight spoke.

"She's fine. It was a shock to her that she fainted. I shouldn't have allowed her to be off her fluids long." Ethan replied. "And I'm fine now. As fine as I can be right now..." He hated how his voice cracked but he gave Duffy a non-convincing smile which she observed from the rearview mirror.

...

Iain crept silently into Lily's room before closing the door behind him and sitting down beside her as she remained asleep.

"Hey, Chuckles. You gave me a right scare when I came back to Cal's memorial to see that you had vanished. I knew that you were off somewhere consoling Ethan but you could have made yourself worse, you know? Ethan's got a lot on his plate now and he doesn't need you being on that plate, too. If you need anything, I'm here Lily. I know you care about Ethan and also a little for Cal but you've got to distance yourself for a while. Let Alicia sort Ethan out."

Lily moaned slightly, opening her eyes. "Iain?" She mumbled. "Sorry, I drifted off again. When did you come in?"

"Not long ago, actually. I saw Ethan get into Charlie's car and came up."

Lily pursed her lips and gave a nod. "How's Gem?"

"They let her off with community service since you didn't want to press charges but she is going to be in isolation from us for a couple of weeks. Just so that you can recover."

Her heart almost jumped out of her chest. "I-Isolation? But I want her to be with us, I didn't press charges so-"

"Hey, calm down. It's for her sake rather than ours. It's fine, it's nothing to do with you that much, it's just to let her reflect on things. She even requested for it. She really likes you Lily so she wants to you get better." Iain explained, gently rubbing the top of her hand. "Everything will be better in a few weeks, hopefully." He sighed.

"Will she still keep her job? She's getting better everyday..."

Iain nodded. "I talked things over with her boss, said that she needed to take some personal time off to improve her literacy and numeracy. She barely scraped a pass on her exam, you know?"

Lily winced a little. "I was expecting more from her but that's good. At least she can keep her job. Do they know about...?"

"No. I'll make sure it stays that way too. Don't worry, everything will be better for Gemma when she comes home. For now, let's focus on getting you better okay? You're important right now."

Iain gave her smile before bringing her in for a tight hug but Lily's face turned into disdain.

...

"So, can you arrest Scott Ellison with this?" Ethan asked.

The policewoman nodded her head. "Although it's not enough to provide a conviction, it is a start. We'll need your phone as evidence."

"That's fine, I have a spare one at home." Ethan mumbled, giving her his phone before receiving a nod from Charlie.

The policewoman turned again. "I'm glad you stopped by with this. It can really help get Caleb-"

"It's Cal!" Ethan exclaimed, before blushing and twiddling with his thumb. "Sorry. He hated his full name..." he mumbled.

She gave a sympathetic smile. "It's fine. This can really help get Cal's murderer. I... Here's his things. We still haven't recovered his phone but as of right now, that is a piece of evidence since you were the last person he called and we have the receiving end of your one way conversation." She sighed, looking down. "I'd really like to have more for you but this is all we've got to work on right now. Don't worry, you will get the peace you need."

Ethan nodded before being led out by Charlie and meeting Duffy back in the car.

"I... I know that this is too much to ask but I can't go home and I can't spend another day with a bad back from the on call bed so... can I stay with you?"

Charlie's heart broke when he saw the usually composed and happy Ethan so broken, almost childlike and depressed.

"Duffy and I would love for you to stay. As long as you don't mind little Charlie's cries."

"Oh, Robyn's staying with you. I forgot. I'll just call Alicia and-"

Duffy placed a hand on his. "We want you to come. I don't think you'd like going to Alicia's to find Max or Jez passed out drunk or naked. They'd never give you peace."

"Thank you..." Ethan mumbled.


	6. It's My Job - Chapter 4

"What are you doing here?"

Lily sighed, turning to face Ethan but kept her eyes down on her patient's notes. "I'm fine."

"It was only just two days ago you fainted and ended up back here," Ethan argued gently, following her to her patient.

She shrugged. "I'm needed here. And I can keep an eye on you."

Ethan bit his lip, giving a terse smile at her patient as they met her. "Hello, I'm Dr Hardy. I'll be assisting Dr Chao."

The patient gave a simple nod with a smile in return. It didn't take long to move on to the next patient and the next but when they were done, Lily felt weak.

"Alright, you need to go home. Now."

Lily glared at Iain. "Where's Ethan?"

"I don't know and right now, I don't care. I only care about you." Iain said gently, holding her hand.

She shook her head, shakily taking a gulp of water before finishing her coffee. "I have to work."

"Lily, what is up with you? Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not. I just do not want to be bedridden when I could be here, helping save lives. Cal saved my life and I need to do something to somehow repay for that. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here." Lily replied, gently. "We're already short-staffed as it is. We can't afford another strike."

Iain nodded, letting her go but not before kissing her head. "I've got to get back to work, anyway."

Lily responded with her own nod and watched him leave. She also spotted Ethan's eyes following a patient passing through.

Slowly, she made her way out of the staff room to see Alicia's hand gripping tightly onto Ethan's arm as he tensed up, watching the patient be led away.

"Dr Chao? You're needed in resus."

Lily subtly jumped, nodding at Louise before swiftly and quickly making her way towards resus, pushing both doors open as she entered.

"Scott Ellison. He was pushed from a balcony..."

Lily drowned the words out as shock overtook her features.

"Dr Chao?"

She sighed, helping Dylan save the life of the man who killed her saviour.

...

"Not bad for a chink."

Lily's eyes narrowed as she glared down at Scott. She turned to the nurse. "I'll chase up that bed."

"I recognise you now. You were that bitch they treated instead of my dad. Well, I guess I owe you my life-"

"The police will want a word." She cut him off. She nodded at the nurse before leaving.

Ethan met her outside the doors, briefly turning to Scott before Lily again. "You're treating him?"

"It's my job, Ethan. I would want him to suffer too but we're doctors."

He swallowed deeply, walking away as she sighed, heading towards the nurses' station to call for a bed upstairs. She fingered the pill bottle in her skirt pocket and took it out, taking one painkiller dry before returning it and turning around to phone upstairs.

She spent five minutes or so debating for a bed and informing them that they couldn't hold patients in resus for longer than they have to. When she was done, all she heard was constant beeping.

"Dr Chao!"

Turning around, she spotted the nurse from earlier running in the resus room as Scott's mother cried over him, begging for him to be saved.

 _It was only five minutes..._

Her heart stopped as her legs kicked into gear, running into resus to place her palms on his chest and resuscitate him.

 _Don't die... If you die, you get away with killing Cal._


	7. Conspiring - Chapter 5

Lily sighed, looking down to avoid Connie's gaze. "I honestly do not know what happened, Mrs Beauchamp. I left the room for five minutes to call for a room upstairs-"

"You could have called from resus. Why did you leave the room, Dr Chao?"

"He was being inappropriate. Making racial slurs. I had the mindset that the nurse would stay with him but I guess she was called out-"

"She was."

Lily looked up. "It was five minutes."

"Five minutes too long. Now Scott Ellison is in a vegetative state. I can't believe he was _pushed_ here. Now, we'll have to take safety matters and we'll have a lawsuit on our case." Connie sighed. "Lily, are you sure it was wise to come back to work, after a week?"

Lily shook her head. "Maybe it wasn't." She whispered.

When Connie had decided that it was time to end their conversation and send Lily home, Lily got up and walked out of the office before closing the door shut behind her.

She spotted Ethan burying himself in his work as Alicia begged to get a word in. She looked worried. Ignoring them, Lily slipped her stethoscope off and gripped it tightly between both hands. She walked to the staff room and placed it on the counter, gripping its sides tightly.

"I hope you're having a better day than me, right now."

Lily turned around slightly to give Alicia a small smile. "I've been sent home."

"Oh, come on. Mrs Beauchamp knows that Scott's current state wasn't your fault. She's just pissed off because he was assaulted on hospital grounds. Like it's our faults." Alicia replied, shaking her head.

"How's Ethan?"

"He literally has just started acting really weird. He keeps making snarky and sharp remarks when I haven't done anything."

Lily frowned, turning around to lean on the counter and cross her arms. "When?"

"About half an hour ago."

"Around the time Scott was flat lining?"

Alicia frowned too, nodding. "Lily..., no."

Lily pushed herself off the counter and stormed out of the staff room, making her way over to Ethan who looked like he was just about to treat a patient.

"You. With me. Now."

Ethan sent his patient an apologetic smile. "I'll leave you in the hands of Dr Munroe."

His girlfriend obliged, sending Lily warning looks as she led him away to the staff room, closing the door behind them.

"You did it."

"Did what, Lily?"

She studied his reaction. He looked irritated, almost guilty but slightly pleased.

"I left resus for five minutes, giving you enough time to do whatever you needed to-"

"He confessed."

"So, you left him to die?"

"Who says I was there?" Ethan retorted.

Lily shook her head in disbelief. "What did you do, Ethan?"

Ethan sighed, looking down to avoid her pleading gaze. "He confessed. He was struggling to breathe but I left him. You were not looking so I just left him."

"If I was, would you?"

"If it was you who only saw, then maybe."

Lily swallowed deeply. "No one and I mean _no one_ needs to know."

"I don't know who I am, anymore. Lily, when I left him... I felt pleasure. Relief."

"What about him spending his life rotting in jail, huh?"

Ethan scoffed. "You honestly think he would go to jail? They've got nothing on him. _Nothing_ , Lily."

"So, it's better this way?"

He nodded. "It is."

"Let's just hope, I don't get dragged down for this."


End file.
